Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
time to smoke my breakfast
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
