She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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