yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
