ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
