she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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