Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
