I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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