Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
