I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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