So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
