The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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