: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
