life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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