it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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