Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
