I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
