Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
