Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
