we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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