How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
