we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have already put on my inside pants.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
