At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
