and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
do nipples grow back?
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