your parents love me but you hate me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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