ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
