He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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