he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
