I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
