Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
