getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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