Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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