Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
