Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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