Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
