If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
