I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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