with your own penis?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
