already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
