how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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