dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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