The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
