just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
