Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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