just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Come share oat with me in your robe
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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