why didn't you poke me back
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
