Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
operation harelip BJ is a go
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
