Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i now understand why vodka
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
