I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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