so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
