I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
