I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
