I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
