Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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