yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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