Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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