some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
babies were throwing up all over the place
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
