Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
