Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
