If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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