I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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