She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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