Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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