Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
