but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
