im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
