You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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