To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
