just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
